On August 25th, 2005 Jason David Archer, a young man loved by most and hated by none, passed way. He was surrounded by his immediate family. We will all miss him very much.

Thank you,

God Bless,

Katie

Made a myspace to keep up with things, since everyone else moved there.

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=12992165&Mytoken=20050422103052

I'm bored.. so..

 Brief History of France at War

An unofficial synopsis

Gallic Wars - Lost
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost
Saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost
France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War
France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied
Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost...
but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost
The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution
In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won
Primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost
Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost
Germany first plays the role of drunk frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied...
and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.

World War II - Lost
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost
French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost
Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, and Esquimaux.

1991 Gulf War - Won
Refer to Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

War on Terrorism - France
Keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

FINAL TALLY: Won = 3; Lost = 10; Tied = 5.

Roses are #FF0000

Violets are #0000FF

All of my base

Are belong to you.

happy valentine's day

Yea, so several people did this, and i was bored. Stolen from katie and so forth.

1* First grade teacher's name: Mom

2* Last word you said: "Goodnight"

3* Last song you sang: I don't sing

4* Last person you hugged: Katie

5* Last thing you laughed at: Napoleon Dynamite

6* Last time you said I dont remember: I don't remember..

7* Last time you cried: Longer ago than i can remember

10* What's under your bed: Clothes and various crap that was once on my floor.

11* What time did you wake up today: 7:00

12* Current taste: Lemonade

13* Current hair: N/A

14* Current clothes: Black pants, black shirt, the usual

15* Current annoyance: I don't have any cheese to go with these crackers

16* Current longing: For katie, and for more lemonade. But primarily for katie.

17* Current desktop picture: The matrix has you..

18* Current worry: None

19* Current hate: Nothing... everything's great right now.

20* Current favorite article of clothing: My coat.

21* Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: Eyes or hair

22* Last CD that you listened to: Not sure, one that was in alycia's cd player.

23* Favorite place to be: With katie

24* Least favorite place: I don't presently feel like being somewhere particularly cold

25* Time you wake up in the morning: After noon unless schedualing goes horribly wrong.

26* If you could play an instrument, what would you play: I play piano, very badly

27* Favorite color: black and blue

28* Do you believe in an afterlife: Yes.

29* How tall are you: 6'0

30* Current favorite word/saying: 'I love you'

31* Favorite book: Harry Potter series

32* Favorite season: Fall

33* One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: My grandfather, before his stroke/heart attack

36* What is your career going to be like: Goofing off, with a minor in something inconsequential

37* How many kids do you want: N/A

*HAVE YOU EVER...*

39* Said "I love you" and meant it: A lot lately

40* Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc: No

41* Been to New York: No.

42* Been to Florida: Yeah

43* Been to California: No.

44* Been to Hawaii: No.

45* Been to Mexico: No.

46* Been to China: No.

47* Been to Canada: No.

48* Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: Not that i can remember

*RANDOM*

52* Do you have a crush on someone: Yessir

53* What book are you reading now?: Computer screen

54* Worst feeling in the world: Chemo.

55* What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: "It's already 2:00? 10 more minutes.."

56* How many rings before you answer: Depends on if i forgot my phone.

57* Future daughter's name: N/A

58* Future son's name: N/A

59* Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No, stuffed animals kind of scare me.

62* College plans: Pathetically few..

63* Piercings: Perhaps ears sometime, not sure how it would look.

*THE EXTRA STUFF*

64* Do you do drugs: No

65* Do you drink: No

67* What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: Whatever is in the shower when i take a shower.

68* What are you most scared of: having to go back on chemo

69* What clothes do you sleep in: Whatever boxers i was wearing before i got in bed.

70* Who is the last person that called you: Probably keri, but i didn't have my phone with me..

71* Where do you want to get married: Not really planning on it.

72* If you could change anything about yourself what would that be: Too much to put here.

73* Who do you really hate: No one.

74* Been In Love: Am right now.

76* Do you have a job: No, i'm a bum.

77* Do you like being around people: Depends on the people and my mood.

78* Best feeling in the world: Affection

In the essence of Christmas, i shall post an essay on the physics of Santa's yearly trip.

 No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

If every one of the 91.8 million homes with good children were to put out a single chocolate chip cookie and an 8 ounce glass of 2% milk, the total calories (needless to say other vitamins and minerals) would be approximately 225 calories (100 for the cookie, give or take, and 125 for the milk, give or take). Multiplying the number of calories per house by the number of homes (225 x 91.8 x 1000000), we get the total number of calories Santa consumes that night, which is 20,655,000,000 calories. To break it down further, 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories. Dividing our total number of calories by the number of calories in a pound (20655000000/3500) and we get the number of pounds Santa gains, 5901428.6, which is 2950.7 tons.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.